What a long day. I am so happy to be at home, comfortable, glass of wine in hand and sitting on the couch. I almost over slept this morning (thank goodness I sleep with my phone beside me and compulsively check it throughout the night.) I forgot to set my alarm last night. I hate being late. I think it stems back to when I was a child and sang in the Toronto Children's Chorus. My mother (bless her heart) is always late. She runs on west indian time which means eight o'clock really means 10. I was late for so many rehearsals and my chorus director would always glare at me as I hurried in. I've had a few mishaps here in Magdeburg and have tried to "keep calm and carry on" but I really despise being tardy. Anyway, I woke up in time and still managed to have a coffee and made it to the theater at 9:40 a.m for a 10 a.m start.
So we are working the opera A Midsummer's Night Dream by Benjamin Britten at the moment. Thus far most of the opera's we have performed have been translated into german. However, we are performing this piece in english. Due to the fact that I am from Canada, I have been asked to help with pronunciation. I feel so badly for all the members in our ensemble, because they are really freaking out because most of them are not familiar with English. I have been pulled aside by several members and asked to give them extra help. I am all for helping people, but I must admit it is a little draining. My brain is completely fried, and I am currently numbing it by eating pizza and drinking white wine. Always I good solution, I say.
Today I found myself really missing home. I had a wonderful conversation with my parents last night and they talked my ears off about my adorable nephews and all of life's happenings. I am missing out in so much and this kills me because I have two awesome brothers and a fantastic sister. Life is just going by, and I've chosen to remove myself from it. I'm also missing my bug, but I'm not ready to write about this yet. All and all I was a little blue today. I tried to pep myself up by making some home made mushroom soup. It helped a little, but as I sit here and write this my mind is drifting back to Canada and thinking about my past. I'm missing my kindergarten class, and my adorable students. I am thinking about one little guy and how he used to build a walking stick out of blocks and hobble around the classroom and pretend he was Yoda whilst saying "wise you are young Jedi." I know I made the right decision to come here, but I can't help but miss my life and friends. I worked hard to create my life in Toronto, and now I have to start all over here. It gets lonely, and I miss familiarity. However, I'm not giving up. It feels good to write about it all, very therapeutic actually.
What's coming up next? well, I have a performance of Sweeny Todd this weekend. We have worked so hard on this musical, and I think it has paid off. Our premiere was last weekend and it got a phenomenal response. Also, we have invited a few new friends over tomorrow to hang out and drink some wine. On Saturday, Katya and I might go to an 80's party. Could be fun. I will use any excuse to put some hot tights on and dance the night away. Sunday will be an day of relaxing. I am thinking about splurging and buying Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Fight Club, and Sex in the City all in German. I think these DVD's will help me learn this language at an accelerated pace :)
I guess the question I keep asking myself tonight is " Was it worth moving? How long will I be happy here? Is opera worth giving up everything and starting a new?" Only time will answer these questions, and I can't stop trying because if I do I will always wonder what could have happened.
Not such a positive post tonight, but as Khalil Gibran says in his book The Prophet: All pain is derived from joy and you can't taste how sweet life is unless you know suffering ( I totally paraphrased.) I'll keep a hold of those words tonight as I drift off into dream world. I want to leave by saying I love all the people I have met in my life, and I am thankful for having such great family and friends that have supported me and loved me unconditionally despite my faults and failures. This post is for you all - especially one beautiful bug.
One more thing. You all need to listen to Ben Harper's version of The Drugs Don't Work. It's golden in my opinion. Also, if you time maybe blast some Rollin Stones Paint it Black. Also an oldie but goodie.
Squirrel out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22UOU9YBzf0
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